She announced her abortion via fbk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
