It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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