Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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