also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The uberlube is also flammable
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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