so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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