We need to start having sex underwater more often.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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