Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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