I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
