What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
