he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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