a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
