my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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