im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
