I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
