i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize