Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
