so that wasnt chicken after all
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
