Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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