I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
