you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
