that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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