i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
