smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
