He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
