i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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