Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
