I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
