We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
