I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
