so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
