yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize