she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Text me some of your sweat
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
