my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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