wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
