She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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