speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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