I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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