Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
