I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
