You kept calling me your small dog last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
