when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
