I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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