kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
