Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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