Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
