im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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