dude i'm inner monologue high
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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