OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
