You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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