is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
