i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
