Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
