life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
