She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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