We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
