If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
