you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
